Rev. Newton Cowan, Transitional Director for Pastoral Care
Listen. When you hear the word listen what comes to mind?
Your parents or teachers or coach saying, listen up. Perhaps in the Old Testament when the prophets would complain that no one would listen to them. Quite often in the New Testament Jesus calls those in a particular setting, and we today, to listen, in Matthew, let anyone with ears listen. We are called to listen to God and to one another.
What does it mean to listen?
One of the greatest gifts we can ever give ourselves is to get to know who we are. What are the areas we excel in? What are the areas that we struggle in?
When I was in my 20’s and 30’s and, if I know myself, into my 40’s I thought I was a pretty good listener. But what I have come to understand is that I was either listening to understand how I could help the person fix a problem or I was listening and formulating my response. Neither of these is really listening at all.
Find yourself in one of these categories?
In my late 40’s, while serving another church, I became involved in Stephen Ministry. First trained to be a Stephen Minister then a Stephen Leader. In a nutshell Stephen Ministry is one-on-one Christian caregiving in which there is a care giver (the Stephen Minister) and the care receiver (mostly members of the congregation). The very foundation of Stephen Ministry is based upon listening. Not listening to fix or solve or even about formulating a response, but simple to be present and to listen to the other to hold space.
I am not an expert listener, and have worked hard to be a better listener, less reactionary and simple to be a ministry of presence at a time when others need to have someone to just listen. I still have a lot to learn. How about you?
In times such as these, this point in history, this time of COVID and constant change, isolation, I believe people are looking for others to just be present and to listen. For people to be able to share some of their journey. Do you seek to have someone hold space with you?
Many years ago, I heard an interview with an author who penned a book called The Power of Teachable Moments. The author shared a story related to parenting and in essence said that if your teenager comes home at 10 pm and wants to talk, that is the time to stop what you are doing and be present, open to spend some time to listen, to be available.
Not easy, right?
We are all over scheduled, too consumed with our own needs, desires, concerns, the list goes on. We seem to have little time to just be with others and to listen.
During this Lenten season I am issuing a challenge for all of us, including me, to slow down even a little and when you recognize that someone needs even just a little bit of your time, that you will give it.
To just listen, to hold space for another.
